photo from sportswrap.berecruited.com/.
So, I guess what I'm wondering is, so what? I already hate A Rod. I already boo him loudly. I audibly scoff at the mere mention of his name. . .
So where do I go from here?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
This Just In (twelve hours ago) A-Rod Does (Did?) Steroids! No Way!
photo from sportswrap.berecruited.com/.
So, I guess what I'm wondering is, so what? I already hate A Rod. I already boo him loudly. I audibly scoff at the mere mention of his name. . .
So where do I go from here?
Friday, February 6, 2009
Twins sign Luis Ayala, Virtually Assure Themselves Pennant
Just when you thought the Twins were done with their offseason bonanza.
The Twins seemingly had steroid monkey Eric Gagne all but signed before backing out of negotiations in the 11th hour. Now we know why. Ol' Bill Smith has had an ace up his sleeve.
In a move sure to send shockwaves throughout the sport, the Twins have signed free agent reliever Luis Ayala to a one year contract. Ayala will be paid 1.3 million this season, or 1,278,000 more than he is worth.
According to mlb.com, Ayala, 31, made 86 appearances in 2008 for the Washington Nationals and New York Mets and went 2-10 with a 5.71 ERA and nine saves.
THUD.
Hmm, as I am writing this I haven't seen a picture of this guy yet. Based on the Twins track record....
I'm assuming he is about 400 lbs, maybe 425. Let's do a Google Image search, shall we?
Not too bad, but there is defintely a progression to largedom. Mr. Ayala, I will be interested to see how many cakes you have eaten in the offseason, and I am already looking forward to looking back on the day you were released.
By the way, number 56 makes you look fat. Go with something more slimming like 11, or eating less food.
The End.
The Twins seemingly had steroid monkey Eric Gagne all but signed before backing out of negotiations in the 11th hour. Now we know why. Ol' Bill Smith has had an ace up his sleeve.
In a move sure to send shockwaves throughout the sport, the Twins have signed free agent reliever Luis Ayala to a one year contract. Ayala will be paid 1.3 million this season, or 1,278,000 more than he is worth.
According to mlb.com, Ayala, 31, made 86 appearances in 2008 for the Washington Nationals and New York Mets and went 2-10 with a 5.71 ERA and nine saves.
THUD.
Hmm, as I am writing this I haven't seen a picture of this guy yet. Based on the Twins track record....
I'm assuming he is about 400 lbs, maybe 425. Let's do a Google Image search, shall we?
Not too bad, but there is defintely a progression to largedom. Mr. Ayala, I will be interested to see how many cakes you have eaten in the offseason, and I am already looking forward to looking back on the day you were released.
By the way, number 56 makes you look fat. Go with something more slimming like 11, or eating less food.
The End.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Former Twin Whom I Hate (FTWIH)
Inaugural Douche:
Rick Reed
Rick Reed FAQ:
What is the number one reason you hate Rick Reed?
You see, Rick Reed is a Scab . At this point, you are probably wondering exactly what a scab is. Well then, my friend you are too dumb to click a link.
Well, isn't Kevin Millar a scab, too? Surely you do not hate on Kevin Millar!
I cannot say this clearly enough. FUCK KEVIN MILLAR, TOO! I have zero tolerance for scabs. Neither one of these assholes was worth a crap in the majors until they crossed the picket line
Is that all? Sheesh, a guy crosses a picket line and you hate him for life? He was just trying to feed his family..
I swear to God, if you try to defend rick reed ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO CUT YOU OPEN. Don't push me. Besides, I mostly hate Rick Reed because he is bad at baseball.
Haha I'm not scared of you. Rick Reed was an All Star in 1998 AND 2001. Explain.
Steeeeeeerrrrrrroooooiiiiiids. No, but seriously. Steroids. Rick Reed had a remarkable run just at the height of the steroid era, then fell off the face of the earth. YOU explain. But really, from the time he went to the Mets in 1997 until the time he came to Minnesota he was 59-37, before that he was 10-15.
Well, that doesn't sound that bad. Plus, he was an All Star the year the Twins traded for him, and we were in a pennant race that year. Surely he helped the cause there!
It's true. The Twins were in an unexpected pennant race that season. They traded their most established player and steroid-head, Matt Lawton, to acquire Reed. Reed to this point in the season was 8-6, with a 3.48 ERA. When the Twins made the trade they were sitting just a half game back of Cleveland in the AL Central.
I cannot say this clearly enough. FUCK KEVIN MILLAR, TOO! I have zero tolerance for scabs. Neither one of these assholes was worth a crap in the majors until they crossed the picket line
Is that all? Sheesh, a guy crosses a picket line and you hate him for life? He was just trying to feed his family..
I swear to God, if you try to defend rick reed ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO CUT YOU OPEN. Don't push me. Besides, I mostly hate Rick Reed because he is bad at baseball.
Haha I'm not scared of you. Rick Reed was an All Star in 1998 AND 2001. Explain.
Steeeeeeerrrrrrroooooiiiiiids. No, but seriously. Steroids. Rick Reed had a remarkable run just at the height of the steroid era, then fell off the face of the earth. YOU explain. But really, from the time he went to the Mets in 1997 until the time he came to Minnesota he was 59-37, before that he was 10-15.
Well, that doesn't sound that bad. Plus, he was an All Star the year the Twins traded for him, and we were in a pennant race that year. Surely he helped the cause there!
It's true. The Twins were in an unexpected pennant race that season. They traded their most established player and steroid-head, Matt Lawton, to acquire Reed. Reed to this point in the season was 8-6, with a 3.48 ERA. When the Twins made the trade they were sitting just a half game back of Cleveland in the AL Central.
Go on....
Ok I will. Reed arrived in Minnesota to much fanfare amongst the die hards. He got a win in his first start, giving up 2 runs on 12 (!) hits in 6 innings. The win stopped a five game skid, and kept the Twins just .5 GB. He boosted the team short term having been the hired gun to guide them into the playoffs, an experienced ace.
He pitched in four critical games as the Twins were slipping out of contention in late August/Early September and managed to win just one. My personal favorite was the August 17th HOME GAME against Tampa Bay where he managed to last 2.1 whole innings! YAY!
Ok I will. Reed arrived in Minnesota to much fanfare amongst the die hards. He got a win in his first start, giving up 2 runs on 12 (!) hits in 6 innings. The win stopped a five game skid, and kept the Twins just .5 GB. He boosted the team short term having been the hired gun to guide them into the playoffs, an experienced ace.
He pitched in four critical games as the Twins were slipping out of contention in late August/Early September and managed to win just one. My personal favorite was the August 17th HOME GAME against Tampa Bay where he managed to last 2.1 whole innings! YAY!
Surely, you don't blame Rick Reed entirely for that 2001 meltdown... What of LaTroy Hawkins?
Hey man, if you are using Latrine Hawkins as a defense you know you have a flimsy case. Rick Reed has the kind of face and body language that scream "ASSHOLE!" right in your face. He was likely a huge disruption in the clubhouse and even demanded a trade immediately after the 2001 season. Sadly, we did not oblige.
Any fond memories at all of "Reeder?"
No, Godammit, none... Wait just a second, I DO have a fond Rick Reed memory...
The Year is 2002. The Twins have just returned to the playoffs for the first time since 2001, so naturally there are now literally thousands and thousands of Twins fans everywhere. Good thing, and bad thing. Good because the Twins are my favorite team and hey the more the merrier. Bad thing because now I literally have to sleep outside the Dome to get playoff tickets.
So I camp out, and the day of the game finally arrives. I wear my Radke jersey and Gramps in Mientkiewicz. 56,000 people are in the Dome and it is rocking HARD!! Old school dome-rock.
Just as we settle in to our seats, Ol' Reliable Rick serves up an inside the park home run to lead off man Ray Durham.
Willing to blame Torii Hunter for the ball getting by, I clapped a few claps of encouragement toward Reed and the team in general. Ah, naive youth. Reed promptly served up a home run of the over the fence variety to the next batter, nobody Scott Hatteberg. (By the way, my Grandpa is from Silverton, Oregon. Anytime Hatteburg gingers his ass to the plate, it's Silverton time!)
I promptly booed Rick Reed until the guy in the row in front of me was douched in Coke and my phlegm. The hate affair was on.
Gratuitous Go-Go Quote of the Week
“If somebody say they’re faster, have him come here and we race,” Gomez said. “We see.” (3/10/2008)
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