I Still Hate Fat Turd Brewer Fans- DubSeven

235 R12 S11 5/23/09




I hate the fat guy with the Sabathia jersey, I hate the kid in the JJ Hardy T Shirt, I hate the disgusting cow in the PBR hat, I hate the toddler in the Brewers hat, I hate the teenagers in the Ben Sheets shirts. I truly hate them all.....

Another day another beating. The Milwaukee Brewers are a joke.....
Brewer Fan Fun Facts:

Average Weight:
(male): 335 lbs
(female): 325 lbs

Average IQ:
54

Transportation of choice:
Back of a flatbed

Favorite Food:
Any meat product as long as its shaped like a penis (brats, sausage, hot dog etc...) and covered in cheese.

Favorite Book:
Cookbook

Common jobs:
Parolee, Corn husker, Dairy Farmer, Dairy Cow

Favorite Baseball Cheers:
"Vikings suck!" and "Bill (clap clap clap) Hall (clap clap clap)." I seriously get a twitch in my eye when I hear that one...

Commonly, a Brewers fan marries:
Their hottest sister.




DBAG Fan of the Game.....

The ICEMAN! This 400 pounder wheezed and waddled his way up to the 20th row! His face turned red and I could hear him mouth breathing for three innings after. The best part was either the fact he COULDN'T FIT IN HIS SEAT AT ALL or the fact that he didn't leave his seat the entire game knowing that he could never, ever, ever make it back up there again....






COMPANY: Kev Kev (2)
Food/Bev: None
Attendance: 40,547 (87% full)
Seat Cost: $3.08
Parking cost: $2.00
Total Spent: $5.08
Season Total: $316.95 ($11.73/gm)

"'He came up here and showed he belongs," said Mauer, who helped keep the 23-year-old Swarzak calm by calling for the right pitches in the right places and checking on the rookie's composure with a couple of well-timed jogs to the mound."

I Hate Fat Turd Brewer Fans--Game 26

234 R10 S12 5/22/09

*this article does NOT pertain to my good pal Erin McMahon. She is a trim, attractive, bright young lady who just happened to make a terrible life choice by cheering for the Brewers....



There were thousands of Brewers fans in attendance tonight at my beloved Metrodome, farting and cussing and generally stinking up the place. I don't know what it is but God do I hate them so, with their XXL T-Shirts and plumber's cracks. And that's just the women.

The men are a complete disaster. No, that PBR cap is not cool. Nor is the matching "vintage" Brewers T-shirt. In fact, let's be honest: A t-shirt's being soiled does not qualify it as "vintage." You are just a dirty brat-slamming Milwaukee piece of garbage.

Hey, girl behind me? How about giving your cry of "Let's go Mannnnnnyyyyyyyyy" a GD rest huh? It's 11-0, we are beating the hell out of your favorite (Title-less. Ouch) team, and Manny Parra has been sitting his worthless ass on the bench for over three innings. Can it.

Sigh. Cuddyer hit for the cycle and the Brewers, as usual, suck at life.

COMPANY:RA (3), Jake (1)
Food/Bev: None
Attendance: 30,297 (65% full)
Seat Cost: $3.08
Parking cost: $1.50
Total Spent: $4.58
Season Total: $311.87 ($12.00/gm)


DBag fan of the game


There were worse fans tonight, to be sure. However, this woman who brought an entire Tupperware container full of cherries with pits was pretty bizarre. Yikes.



"'I guess it was in the cards for me," said Cuddyer, who was given the ball from the triple. "A broken bat down the left-field line to complete the cycle is not something you see everyday.'"

Vote Mauer for Jesus 2012