Game 43 Yee Haw!

So tonight was Twins Cowboy hat night. I circled this date on the calendar in April, and knew I needed one. What I didn't anticipate was everyone and their brother also having the same idea.

During my day at work, it seemed like everyone visiting said they were on their way to the Twins game, and that they were going to get there early to get a cowboy hat. Two buddies had texted me the same. The gates opened at four for the six pm game and there were 10,000 hats available. I was scheduled to be off work at 5. Uh-oh.

I am not a cowboy, at all. In fact Brokeback Mountain pretty much ruined the whole cowboy deal for me. But there was something about that hat that simply called my name. I knew that no job could keep me from my newest irrational need.

I talked my way into leaving work at 3:45, and hit the road.

Parking at a meter, I made my way to the Metrodome. As I passed HCMC I had a terrible realization: Today is the "Twins Autograph Party." That means thousands of fans would be there already, standing in hours-long lines to collect signatures of millionaires for decoration and/or profit.

I was skeptical, even as I approached the gates at the early hour of 4:15. And the hats were gone.

No, I'm just kidding. I got one. But they were all gone by 5:05, and they are currently selling for (relatively) big bucks right now on ebay.




COMPANY: None (16)
Food/Bev: None
Attendance: 34,710 (74.4% full)
Seat Cost: $3.08
Parking cost: $2.50
Total Spent: $5.58
Season Total: $587.83 ($13.67/gm)



D-Bag FAMILY of the Game!

This guy had on a bright yellow Kobe Bryant jersey with no undershirt with bright yellow breakaway pants to match. To make matters worse, his daughter (?) was wearing a 99 Ramirez Dodgers jersey. Super yikes.

Game 4-Deuce! The Astros! Interleague Sure is Neat!

S234 R2 S11 6-19-09







Here are the NL teams, in order, I would have liked to see visit the Dome this year.

1. Milwaukee- I love beating up the Brewers, and I hate their entire franchise from the owner to the fans- Most of whom look like this:
2. New York Mets- Would have been cool to see Johan one more time in the Dome.

3. Chicago Cubs- We have played them often enough that this may turn into a nice mini-rivalry.

4. LA Dodgers- The Dodgers have lots of nice young players that would be worth a watch.

5. St. Louis Cardinals- They have Albert. That is all.

6. Philadelphia Phillies- Defending champs.

7. Atlanta Braves- This seems like it should be more of a rivalry, just because of '91.

8. San Francisco Giants- Lincecum fun to watch dominate, Zito fun to watch GET dominatED.

9. Colorado Rockies- Fun team that plays the game the right way

10. San Diego Padres- A-Gonz destroys the short right field porch in BP, off Liriano....

11. Cincinnati Reds- Jay Bruce, Volquez and Cueto worth the price of admission.

12. Washington Nationals- Easy wins, baby

13. Florida Marlins- Hanley would be cool to see, the rest are admittedly boring.

14. Arizona Diamondbacks- this team does NOTHING for me.

15. Pittsburgh Pirates- narrowly edge out the Astros because of one man: McCutchen

16. Houston Astros- sigh. What a bunch of turd farmers.



COMPANY: None (15)
Food/Bev: None
Attendance: 32,218 (69.1% full)
Seat Cost: $3.08
Parking cost: $3.00
Total Spent: $6.08
Season Total: $582.25 ($13.86/gm)


"It's nice and it certainly comes after my name, but the fact that I have 10 wins I think means a whole lot more because we have 10 more wins as a team," said Slowey, who threw 90 pitches over six innings and was pulled after feeling tightness around his rib cage.

Game 41, A Day Game, Against the Pirates. Joy.

S234 R10 S18 6/18.09



Isn't the Pirates name/logo a little offensive to Somalis? They are very, very proud of their heritage.



No, but really. This is not a very good Twins team. They are missing ONE (1)- SP, ONE (1)- Reliever ONE (1)- Right handed DH and ONE (1)- leadoff man.

By this time last year, I could tell that the '08 team had a little 2006 in them. I feel nothing of the sort this season. Sad but true.

COMPANY: None (14)
Food/Bev: None
Attendance: 30,670 (65.8% full)
Seat Cost: $3.08
Parking cost: $2.00
Total Spent: $5.08
Season Total: $576.17 ($14.05/gm)




Dbag Abusive Parent/Burn victim of the game!

I love parents with leashes for their children. This Pirate fan had his four year old on a leash while they walked up the section, but the guy had no problem letting the same kid go to the bathroom by himself! Wtf?

This guy fed his kids Coca-Cola and Cotton Candy, then go suuuuper frustrated that they wouldn't sit still. Adding insult to redneckery, he didn't let his "daughter" get a malt cup because she was "Wearing a Twins hat." Sigh.


"They need to take that thing off. Take it off," Morgan said of the Teflon roof as he chuckled. "I don't want to see this place no more. They can come blow this [thing] down."

Game 40- Lower Level (We get the lifeboats!)

S132R28S8 6/17/09






Did you know that if you look in the right place you can find a Mello Yello fountain soda in the Metrodome? What?

Of course you should care about this.


COMPANY: Marty (3)
Food/Bev: None
Attendance: 30,057 (64.5% full)
Seat Cost: $0
Parking cost: $2.00
Total Spent: $2.00
Season Total: $571.09 ($14.27/gm)



DBAG Fan of the Game

EVERY PIRATES FAN EVER. Every hit, one of these clowns would stand up and cheer wildly. These two were particularly bad. I was already annoyed by the pit-stained Pittsburgh fans when I noticed they were both drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. What a couple of




"It's really frustrating, because every time I miss one pitch it just changes the whole game," Liriano said. "I don't know what to do anymore."

Game 39....Thanks, Selig. The Pirates come to the Dome!

S234 R3 S10 6/16/09



Andrew McCutchen is going to be a superduperstar someday very soon. Maybe I am out of the loop but I haven't heard a ton about this kid. I have a feeling I will be very soon.

He covered a ton of ground at the Dome in CF this entire series, and he has a TON of speed on the basepaths. Conversely, Nyjer Morgan lost THREE balls in the roof during this series. Ouch.



COMPANY: None (13)
Food/Bev: None
Attendance: 25,351 (54.4% full)
Seat Cost: $3.08
Parking cost: $2.00
Total Spent: $5.08(Thats more like it...)
Season Total: $569.09 ($14.59/gm)


DBAG Beyotch O da Game

This lady in a pink shirt, who sternly told me to sit down when I stood and cheered for my man-crush, Joe Mauer. Lady, if you are reading this- You are fat. There I said it. Now go get therapy and learn how to not talk for three minutes. Sheesh.


After three singles up the middle, Mauer, protecting the plate, hit a down-and-in pitch between first baseman Adam LaRoche and the bag for an RBI double in the sixth."He should be MVP," said Pittsburgh starter Paul Maholm. "You throw him a breaking ball and he doesn't really budge. I threw some sinkers inside and he somehow inside-outs it and hits ground balls up the middle hard. You're not really getting in on him."

Game 38, It's okay to lose....

A314 R7S118 6/14/09



" I hate the Cubs, and their fans. How you can you just be so okay with losing?"
-Anonymous.



It's true. Cubs fans for the most part are a bunch of spoiled retards. They go to their amazing stadium, pay 50 bucks to sit in the outfield and 7 bucks a beer, and keep coming back even though the team hasn't won ANYTHING in over 100 years. Sigh.

COMPANY: Wife (9), Zach (12)
Food/Bev: None
Attendance: 40,814 (99.2% full)
Seat Cost: $55.00
Parking cost: $5.00 Train Pass+$4.00 Park N Ride= $9.00
Total Spent: $64.00
Season Total: $564.01 ($14.84/gm)

DBAG Fan-O-Game

Milton Bradley is a retarded retard's retarded son. After a weekend in which he lost a ball in the sun and tossed a ball into the stands that was actually only the second out in the inning, I taunted the crap out of him Sunday afternoon. Then, this guy (pictured) stood up, walked down the row and asked me loudly "Have you EVER even MET Milton Bradley? How do YOU know he is SUCH a JERK!?" I could only laugh as the vein in this guy's neck began to bulge. Want to know how I know you are gay? You stick up for Milton Bradley.

Crain couldn't escape in the bottom half, and the latest meltdown left his ERA at a whopping 8.15."You try to find the right situation to put him in ballgames, but when you get to this point there is no right situation," manager Ron Gardenhire said.