Spring Training Game "Live Blog"

I'm going to watch spring training baseball. You will read about it....


4:08 Papa John's is called in. I ask them about sponsoring my blog and the guy seemed uninterested. Boy, will they regret it when this gets three page views.

4:10 Yipee! MLB Network is showing the YES Network feed for tonight's game. Having Thursday night's NESN telecast was pure delight, why, how could YES be any worse? (Starts plugging in ipod).

4:15 I do not like Joba Chamberlain. They treat this D bag like he is Steve Nebraska. With every pitch I pray for a fail.

4:15 A-Rod quadruple pumps to throw out Span. Insert quadruple pump sex joke here. Punto single! There's one of his 95 for the year.

4:16 Even the ball went cleanly into center, Punto dives into first. He's been doing it since little league, which makes it okay.

4:19 Delmon CRUSHES an RBI double off the wall, easily scoring Punto. This is followed by the announcer proclaiming "I kind of like this team in the AL Central" after three batters. In February.

4:20 Kubel SMASHES a ground rule double completely burning the right fielder. Joba this ass.

4:21 Busch moves Kubel to third with a grounder to short. What does Buscher need to do to get the nod over Crede? I say .430 5 HR 20 RBI. I don't think he will quite reach that. Glenn Williams, anyone?

4:31 Pizza Arrives. Updates likely more sporadic for a minute or twenty

4:32 Teixiera hits a double moving Jeter to third. That double cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000. I hope it was worth it.

4:33 All Time Hated Player Nick Squisher is a Yankee. After being a White Sox, he literally went to the only team that is more hateable. Good news, your head still looks like a penis Congrats.

4:34 Squish hits a routine grounder to Luke Hughes, who throws an awful worm burner to Busch at first. Sigh. This won't work at all. If only there was somewhere to send these guys until they got a little better at baseball....


4:35 Larry-ahno does not look well at all. He is that weird F Bomb that flys open when he pitches, shows poor body language and simply walks too many people. This is the dark side of Liriano, the one no one ever mentions.

4:37 Grounder to Hughes...throw to first.... OUT! IN MY FACE! These guys are awesome.

4:40 Something to get used to: the YES network retards refer to Target Field as Target Center. Sigh. They proceed to complain about the weather in MN, including a reference to "the biggest mosquitos in the world." Sigh. I bet you want to hear all the stereotypes I know about New York? No? STFU then.

4:44 Gomez hits a bomb over the left field wall. His swing looked super wild, though. That's going to be the thing with Gomez offensively I think. He will be a Jacque Jones-type in that he has all the talent and the ability to produce monster games. However, it sure seems as though he is going to be MADDENINGLY inconsistent!

4:45 Larry-ahno makes Shelley Long- er- Duncan wave at a breakin' ball. I hate you Dan Gladden.

4:51 Johnny Damon sac bunt moves the runners to second and third. In a related note Johnny Damon sacrificed all respect and dignity by leaving the Red Sox for the Yankees. That guy could have been a legend in Boston. Now he is a sissy armed, Ed Hardy wearing chum.............p.

4:58 Del-mon! Del-mon! Del-mon! A sharp single up the middle, and Delmon is 2-2. He even went first to third on a ball that squirted through Pedroia into very shallow right field the other night. Del-mon! Del-mon!

5:00 Delmon takes second on a passed ball. He actually looked to be running.......Hard even.... Trade him now! While his value is soaring! Kubel looks poised to bash him in...

5:02 And by "bash him in" I meant "take a walk." Meh.

5:03 Busch DESTROYS a pitch off the right field wall, scoring two. Impressive hits, but as Lou Brown says "Off a pitcher who will be bagging groceries in a week!"

5:05 Holy Crap! It's 5-3?! That can't be right. Luke Hughes grounder eludes A-Roid for an RBI. It's now 6-3. I'm gonna have to Tivo this game to see all this scoring again.