TP 1B- Baltimore

Mr. O blogs from his parents basement. You can read him here, in this sentence. For a refresher on what the categories mean, click hurr.

Baltimore Orioles




RATINGS 1-10 (1 (AWFUL), 5 (DEC), 10 (UNREAL)

1. COUCH FACTOR: The Baltimore Orioles do not make me want to put my 360 controller down, put the remote down, get my lazy ass off the couch and drive to the Metrodome AT ALL. Ugh. Their best player is Nick Markakis. Who cares about Nick Markakis. I might have to draft a couple of these guys in fantasy just so I can JUSTIFY going, let alone making myself want to go... 1 POINT


2. LOVE/HATE FACTOR: This one really isn't too high either way on the scale. It's hard to love or hate anyone you havent even heard of. However, if you think of some of the players this team has employed in the last decade or so the Poor-ioles become much more hate-able. Albert Belle, Sammy Sosa, Miguel Tejada, Raffy Palmeiro, Javy Lopez. It's like steroids were a pre-requisite for getting employed. 1 POINT


3. OBNOXIOUS OPPOSING FAN FACTOR: I went to a game when I was with my dad when I was much younger. We bought tickets outside the stadium from a scalper in an Orioles hat. We went to the game, bought a program, left our coats in our seats and went up to the concourse for some sodas. When we came back, the guy who sold us our tickets was in the seat next to ours, just reading my program! What a D-Bag! 2 POINTS


4. BP FACTOR: Aubrey (What the Hell kind of name is Aubrey? Audrey with a speech impediment? Awful, awful name. Seriously.) Huff hit 32 home runs last year, and 4 others had at least 20. Meh. I can't see any of these clowns putting on much of a display. 1 POINT


5. TAUNTABILITY: Again, there is a reason this is the lowest ranked team in MLB. There is nary a man to taunt.... Hey, Markakis, um.... you're Greek!.....Hey, Roberts! Remember when you almost got traded! Ha-ha! In your face! 1 POINT



6. WOULD WIFE GO? Sadly, Wife is on vacation. In her stead I asked a random passer-by if he wanted to go to the Twins-Orioles tilt this summer at the Metrodome. He just asked for some change. I will take that as a no. 1 POINT.


7. ARE THEY GOOD? Oh, God, no. They have LESS THAN NOTHING for pitching and their best player, Matt Weiters is going to start the season in AAA. Not to mention the fact they are tucked into a division featuring Tampa, Toronto, New York and Boston. Good luck with that. 1 POINT


TOTALS: 8 POINTS OUT OF A POSSIBLE 70. Ouch. Closer to the worst possible score than the best...