US Cellular Field, or, the Unfriendly Confines

S534 R7 S16 4/12/09// S527 R9S1 4/11/09

Just going to put a few things out there about my fourth, and final, trip to the Cell.....



....The concessionaires could not be more clueless and rude. As gay as it sounds, I wanted me some hot chocolate. It was 23 degrees with no sun in our seats, and I couldn't feel my feet after the fourth inning. So I went to the generic booth, and waited for the woman behind the counter to sleepwalk her way through the seven people in front of me. 25 minutes later it was my turn. I excitedly ordered a large hot chocolate, a bargain at just under four dollars! The exchange went exactly like this:

Me: "One large Hot Chocolate, please."
Bitch: "We ain't got no hot chocolate."
Me: "You ain't got no hot chocolate? When do you think you will have some more?"
Bitch: (rolls eyes) "I don't know." (asks co-worker) "Be like 'bout three minutes."
Me: "Ok, I'll wait."

After about five minutes I get back in line, and eventually order a hot chocolate. To wit:

Me: "One large hot chocolate, please."
Same Bitch: "We ain't got no hot chocolate."
Me: "About ten minutes ago, you said three minutes.... How long do you think it will be this time?"
Same Bitch: "Huh?"
Me: "About ten minute....ah, screw it"

Off to the next stand I went, waited in line and was poised to order a hot chocolate, finally. However, as I got to the front of the line the manager approached the cashier and asked her to "take about five minutes to wipe down your station." Good timing. So I wait. And wait. And wait. Finally, after mindlessly wiping the same spot for a while she asks what I would like. I reply, one hot chocolate please." Can you guess what she said?

I was now at the last stand on our concourse, as our upper level tickets would grant us neither lifeboats in case of emergency or access to lower concourse food and bev. I stood dejectedly in line, no longer hopeful and contemplating suicide. I approached the counter and of course was told that there was no hot chocolate.

But then, something happened. He put his finger up as if to say "One second." And do you know what that brilliant man did? He opened the super sized hot chocolate bag used to make large batches of the brew, and poured just a little into a cup. Then, he took said cup and filled it with hot water from the coffee dispenser. Brilliant! I had hot chocolate! Thanks for doing that for me, two previous stands! Bastards....

....Also, The Cell is apparently a sweatshop. This little guy pictured below looked like he was no older than maybe 14. And they gave him the pain in the ass gig of lugging fountain sodas and peanuts. That stuff looked super heavy. I don't mean to rip the guy if he is older I just sympathize with him, man. Not to mention it was Easter...



....They could charge double for seats down the third base line in April and I would pay it. The sun is the ONLY factor in the enjoyment of a game at this stadium. You are either seated on the third base side in the sun, making the temp a decent 43 degrees with a slight breeze or you are on the first base line in the dank, dark shade. Here you will notice a 15 degree temperature change along with a constant cold wind. Our seats on Saturday were on the first base side. Despite wearing long underwear, two pair of socks, a thermal undershirt, wool sweater and hooded sweatshirt we all nearly froze to death.
Brilliantly, we doubled our layers on Sunday. When we sat down, we were in the most gorgeous sun ever. I was sweating by the fourth inning, and I felt bad for telling Erin to "layer up big time." Sigh. I hate the Cell...


....Stayed at a buddy's apartment in downtown Chicago. On Saturday night we went to eat at Giordano's which is apparently a pretty famous spot. Well, the pizza tasted fine and dandy and on the way home I had some Green Tea. I awoke at 6 am on a strange couch, feeling nautious. I crept to the bathroom as the inevitable filled my cheeks but it was in use! Wtf, it's six am!? I did what I had to do and went out to the fifth floor balcony where I leaned over and painted a Buick pizza sauce orange. My bad.


Dbag fan of the Game!!! (Sunday only)
I was actually gonna try to do a sort of live blog on Saturday but I literally couldn't feel my fingers enough to even take a pic of the D bag fan. Here is Sunday's:

Hahaha you would wear a KIDS SGA jersey!! I mean, really?? You are like 40 and that thing is tiny, mang!

STATS:

COMPANY: ARoid 2 (2), Kurt 2 (2), Erin (1)
Food/Bev: Hot choc (3.75), 2x Hot Dog (2/$3.25), peanuts ($4.00), 1 Pepsi (3.50) tot $14.50
Attendance: (33,935 84% (SAT)/25,571 63% (SUN) )
Seat Cost: $20 (sat), $23 (sun)
Parking cost: $10 (train pass) ($25.00 gas to Chi)
Total Spent: $92.50
Season Total: $173.74 ($28.95/gm)