NL East Predictions

That is a family, which means that Mr. Met had unprotected sex with a female Mr. Met.



2009 MLB Season Predictions

National League

East

1. New York Mets- I picked the Mets to win the East because after two near-misses in '07 and '08 they actually IMPROVED their main weakness, the bullpen. Adding JJ Putz and K-Rod raises this team's stock significantly. In a couple years, Fernando Martinez will dominate. For now, Reyes and Wright will do just fine, thanks.

2. Philadelphia Phillies- Yes, I realize they are the defending champions. (Wait till you see where the Rays end up) Somehow, I just don't think Joe Blanton and Jamie Moyer are enough to guide them to a third straight division title. Also, Ryan Howard will strike out 300 times. Watch.

3. Florida Marlins- The best rotation in the division. Arguably the best player in the National League, if not all of baseball. They have All Star Game human blooper reel Dan Uggla. But quick,name their catcher.... I'll wait...... Got it? (John Baker, duh). Now name two starters not named Nolasco.... Can't do it, can you?

4. Atlanta Braves- Once a proud franchise, their star player is now aging rapidly and the once-feared pitching rotation of Glavine, Maddux, Smoltz and Avery is a generation removed. The Braves starters now include the following: Derek Lowe (Ugh, never been a fan), Javy Vazquez (hahaha), Jair Jurrens (Jair? I hardly know her!), and of course something called Kenshin Kawakami.

19. Washington Nationals- The Nationals are like the Alternative Learning Center of MLB. Elijah Dukes, wifebeater and Child dater calls Washington home. That's nice. Alleged transvestite Ronnie Belliard mans second, while he tries not to get eaten by the guy that looks like he ate Cristian Guzman.